Steven Wright

American comedian · United States · On the map · Comedians · Born 1955 · age 70

Steven Alexander Wright is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer and film producer. He is known for his distinctive lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations.

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3.9 times the usual readers on 5 November. 2,436 readers on 5 November, against about 631 a day before the rise.

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A life in dates

2006“I wish the first word I ever said was the word "quote," so right before I die I could say "unquote.”In their wordsWhen the Leaves Blow Away (2006) / I Still Have a Pony (2007)Read the whole statement

“I need one of those baby-monitors for my subconscious to my consciousness so I can know what the hell I'm really thinking about.”In their wordsWhen the Leaves Blow Away (2006) / I Still Have a Pony (2007)Read the whole statement

“It's a good thing a lot of people speak foreign languages, otherwise those people would have no one to talk to.”In their wordsWhen the Leaves Blow Away (2006) / I Still Have a Pony (2007)Read the whole statement

“They say you're not supposed to put metal in a microwave oven... They're right.”In their wordsWhen the Leaves Blow Away (2006) / I Still Have a Pony (2007)Read the whole statement

“I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note. [sighs] It's a start...”In their wordsWhen the Leaves Blow Away (2006) / I Still Have a Pony (2007)Read the whole statement

“I'm addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn't matter.”In their wordsWhen the Leaves Blow Away (2006) / I Still Have a Pony (2007)Read the whole statement

1989Academy Award for Best Live Action Short FilmAward1955Born6 December 1955

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Steven Wright

4 statements, newest first

Lots of my friends have babies, but I don't have any babies. But I have lots of friends; babies don't have any friends.
2006 · When the Leaves Blow Away (2006) / I Still Have a Pony (2007), Own words
Sometimes I talk to myself fluently in languages I'm unfamiliar with... just to screw with my subconscious.
2006 · When the Leaves Blow Away (2006) / I Still Have a Pony (2007), Own words
I bought a new camera. It's very advanced. You don't even need it.
2006 · When the Leaves Blow Away (2006) / I Still Have a Pony (2007), Own words