King of England
A king whose name became a medieval pun: "Unready" twists the Old English for "noble counsel" into "no counsel." He paid Vikings to go away, ordered a massacre out of paranoia, watched his kingdom collapse under Danish invasion, and died mid-civil war against his own son.
Æthelred came to the throne in March 978 after his older half-brother Edward the Martyr was assassinated — a crime that shocked the realm but left the nine-to-twelve-year-old prince above suspicion. Viking raids resumed shortly after his accession, minor at first in the 980s, then catastrophic from the 990s onward. Battles went badly, so the king and his advisers paid tribute to make the raiders leave. In 1002 he ordered the St Brice's Day massacre of Danes, a spasm of paranoia that historians mark as a turning point. By 1009 Eadric Streona had risen to become his most powerful adviser — and w…
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